I woke up happy this morning. I have been happy for months now, unending, but this morning’s own was different. I was just happy and feeling too lazy to get out of bed because I am convinced my system should not be wide awake at 9am regardless of how late I go to bed. I mean school is not in session and you would think this is the time I will get to atleast sleep for longer, but NO! my body does not agree with me. Two friends came to my room and I was still very happy and playful. Then another friend who was just passing by saw my window open and decided to visit. It was really nice and we talked extensively. We indeed learn everyday because she told me some important things that I really knew nothing about before and when she left, I felt more knowledgeable. I was going to continue listening to the message by Bishop TD Jakes that I was initially listening to and that was when fear and worry crept in and took over my whole being.
I knew I gained more knowledge from the conversation I had with my friend, but I did not know the conversation would lead me to worry so much. We talked about the future while conversing and about training contracts and just all the qualifications/trainings you might need as a lawyer and that scared me when she left and our conversation sank in. I was so worried that I could not keep listening to the message by TD Jakes with a clear mind. I had to call a friend to tell her I was worried and though I knew what she would say because it is the same thing I would tell a worried friend, I still wanted her to say them. I still wanted a confirmation and I still wanted her to tell me about God’s roadmap and how our plans are not necessarily His plans. She told me not to worry and I told her I would not. I was convinced and I tried to continue listening to the message, but my heart was too heavy and I felt choked by fear. I started praying and when I thought I was finally fine, I got up from bed with an intention to lay my bed. I only ended up crying and praying with a sense of urgency to my father.
I don’t know if I have written something about how God sometimes messes up your plans so your life will be in line with the purpose He predestined you for. If I have not written something about that, I will soon. Anyway, I know all too well how God’s purpose and plans always stands and how God’s purpose does not respect your plans except those plans were made with the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. That is one of the reasons the Holy Spirit should be an essential part of our lives. I further learnt from TD Jakes that God is a spirit and so He would not communicate with your body or soul, rather He goes straight to your Spirit because only the spirit can understand God. Remember 1 Corinthians 2:9… It is the Spirit that gets the message from God. It is the spirit that makes you work according to the plan of God because God reveals His plans for your life to the spirit. It is the Spirit that will help you pray the right prayers so you do not ask amiss and waste your time (Romans 8: 27; James 4:3). I am starting to deviate…
I am fully aware plans can be rubbished. I am fully aware that if I tell this mountain to move without having a iota of doubt, it will move. So I know very well about faith. I know very well about God having me and ordering my footsteps. I am fully aware that God is in my midst and He will not cause me to suffer. I know God already formed and chose me before the foundation of the world because He is the master planner and nothing catches Him by surprise. All these knowledge and many more did not stop me from worrying. I didn’t forget all I know, I just didn’t apply them. I did not apply faith and total surrendering to God. And that is exactly what TD Jakes preached about in one of his messages (EFFECTIVE PRAYER. WORTH LISTENING TO). He said we sometimes push God away when we decide to still keep carrying the load. If we don’t give the load to Him, what is the point of having Him as our burden bearer? If we allow Him to carry some of the load but still decide to carry most though we know we are feeble, what is the point of even giving Him small? Why not carry everything? He gave an analogy which I like. He said imagine you go to a restaurant and you are told you can eat anything, the meal has already being paid for by a nice friend. You eat, but still ask the waiter for the bill and still insist on paying, what then is the point of your friend paying? That is exactly what we do when we worry and that is one of the reasons why prayer should be a habitual tool.
We are humans and so we will worry. We worry and are afraid when we look at our circumstances; when we look at the task we lack the capacity to carry out; when we think about the future and where our lives are headed and so on. We worry and although we know worry does nothing for us apart from discourage us from having fortitude, we still worry. And that is where communication with God through prayer comes in. When we worry, God expects us to come to the throne of grace, He expects us at His feet to drop everything and pick strength for the journey ahead. He needs us to remind Him of His words like wise David often did. I am no longer worried because I cried and dumped it on the shoulders of my redeemer. I also remembered Matthew 6: 33. Seek first the kingdom of God Mayowa instead of worrying about your future (Matthew 6: 25-30). Work and let your life reflect God and God will automatically be all up in your business because He is even more concerned about your prosperity and success than you are. When your walk with God becomes better, there really won’t be any need to worry because Holy Spirit will easily direct you and let you know what steps to take and not to take. So though God is working on your behalf, you still have to do your part, but the part you are doing becomes more straight forward through the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Oluwamayowa and every other purposeful soul that worry, remember Matthew 8: 26. When Jesus was on the ship with His disciples and they encountered a storm and were panicking, they were smart enough to wake Jesus up. Jesus rose and calmed the storm. Let your faith make you go to God in prayer when the storm is uncontrollable and watch Jesus calm the storm on your behalf. Just live right by God and know no matter what happens: the failures, disappointments, rejections, God will always take you where you need to be when you let go and let Him order your steps. May the favour of God that does not care about your qualifications overpower you.
Stay blessed darlings and remember you are not alone.
P;S: I didn’t know I was going to write this. I wanted my next post to be me telling you about my birthday last week Saturday and the beautiful souls I am blessed with. I promise to still write a post about that.0