All the voices in my head.

Hi Guys! I am sure most of us were aware of the trend on twitter regarding females knowing how to cook or not. Some tweets that I saw got me angry enough to give my own opinion regarding the subject. I know the topic is no longer trending, but I will just leave my opinion out there. Happy reading!


I understand that Ochuko stepped on some people’s toes through his last post and I applaud him for it. Yes, I am in full support of him stepping on your toes and infact, I just might step on your toes as well after I finish giving my two cents. He that has an ear let him hear. The world has developed beyond traditionalism that just doesn’t work anymore. It’s high time we stopped excusing some irrational behaviour and ‘custom’ just because it is how it has always been done.

Before you vex and go, atleast listen to what I have to say first.

Ochuko’s post reminded me of the series I watched the night before. It was past one at night and I couldn’t sleep. So I decided to go to Youtube to entertain myself and hopefully sleep off from there. I stumbled on a short series titled ‘This thing called marriage’. I decided to give it a try the same way I gave “Skinny Girl’s in transit” a try and didn’t regret it. The show is about two married couples. One of the couples has issues in the marriage because the wife denies oga at the top sex, she comes home late and she doesn’t cook for him or clean the house according to the words of the oga. I don’t have a problem with that.

However my blood pressure almost got raised in anger, when in a particular scene; oga was downstairs in the sitting room eating biscuits. Wifey came down and oga was like, ‘at past 9 in the morning (it was a Saturday), what kind of wife won’t have woken up to make breakfast for her husband and he now had to be eating biscuits.’ She said she was still going to make breakfast for him, but he told her not to worry with venom. He had already eaten biscuit and drank juice for breakfast. I wanted to slap him. In my mind, I was like oga you are not hungry cause if you are, you will enter the kitchen to make breakfast for yourself.

Now, I am not in support of women not knowing how to cook or a woman who says she will never cook for her man all in the name of feminism. Please, that’s not the best if you ask me. If you can’t cook for your husband, will your children also suffer the same fate? Besides why would you not even know how to do something as essential as knowing how to cook or even show a willingness to learn… not for anybody, but for yourself. I just don’t get it and honestly, the same goes for guys.

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Society talks to Ladies too much and mostly leaves the guys out of the picture and I have refused to keep acquiescing to it. Ladies must know how to cook but what of the guy? She caused the rape cause of her provocative dressing, I’m sorry but she didn’t invite you. I don’t support half naked or naked dressing, but she has a right to her body and you have no legal or moral right whatsoever to violate her sexually, emotionally and mentally just cause your uncle was dancing to her appearance. Please, are you controlling your uncle or its controlling you? Then, you tell her to accept his beating and cheating cause he is a guy and you are a woman meant to submit? I’m sorry, but it’s time to talk to our guys.

You have no reason whatsoever as a guy to be unreasonable, abusive, misogynistic, disrespectful, domineering, uncontrollable and whatever else you can think of just cause you have the XY chromosome. I am sorry, but no, that’s not enough reason. Just so my anger won’t take over this post, I will use the ability or inability to cook which has been trending as my major example. I saw a tweet by a guy and he was like: if you are a woman and you don’t know how to cook, there is no difference between you and the scum of the earth. Chisos! What kind of unwarranted insult is that?

I don’t get guys that get married and suddenly forget they used to atleast cook indomie and fry plantain when they were bachelors and living alone.  I just don’t get it. The woman should cook, yes, she should. But what is stopping you as a guy to help out once in a while and infact if you as a guy like cooking, what is wrong with you helping out a lot especially when your babe doesn’t like cooking though she can cook. I don’t understand why we complicate our lives just because we are trying to establish masculinity. A friend and I were talking and he was like if his wife comes back home very tired and he was at home before her, there is nothing that stops him from cooking for them. I blessed him for having sense and making use of it. Seriously guys don’t let’s be unreasonable.

I will say though that I don’t have a problem with a guy that says he can’t marry a babe if she can’t cook. Maybe that’s his own deal breaker, just as a lady might also have her deal breaker. Also, Ladies, you would be able to know a guy who loves food and sees it as a crime for him to enter the kitchen to help out while you are dating. There would be behavioural patterns.  So don’t enter into it and later start complaining after marriage. Same with an abusive guy. No offence, but na you carry your leg enter am. Also, guys, you would know a babe that doesn’t cook or like cooking while you are dating. Don’t enter marriage and expect her to start liking it or start cooking all of a sudden ‘cause she is wifey. Shine your eye!

Long and short of my words of wisdom is we need to start talking to guys too. Stop facing only ladies and permitting irresponsible guys to be bred. It’s not fair on the world. Peace!

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