I don’t know if I have shared my fears with you guys before and I don’t care. If I have shared it before, I will keep sharing it because as much as I love this platform being for you amazing readers, it’s also for me. It’s like my public diary if there is anything like that.
I was telling Emmanuel after being frustrated about something that I was scared. Don’t sneer but I have always known I’m not ordinary, I wasn’t born to be ordinary. Seriously guys, this is a deep conviction I have had since I was a little girl running shamelessly around in my underwear. My mamma told me but she didn’t tell me because she is my mamma. She told me because she could and can still see it. But I am so scared. So scared I might not be all I can be. So scared I will settle for less in life and I’m also talking about settling for a lesser guy than the one I know I’m meant to have. My friends say I have high standards and we laugh about it but it is not about having high standards. It’s about knowing what I want in a man and having the fear that with all the baby boys the world is daily churning out, I might not find him. I said a silent prayer, a desperate prayer to God after my friend and I finished laughing about the boy thing. I told God that even though I have really not being faithful and true, he should please still help me find a man after his heart. Faith is meant to be exercised at all times even for the tiniest things. I learnt that from my maami, hawt pastor, MSM, Frances and so many others. Frances even had a post about using faith to talk to God about the man you want and faith, is the ticket I need to use. That’s not the main fear.
The main fear is I will be a workaholic. Jokes! People already tell me I am. Serious talk now…
The main fear is that I will let laziness and fear stop me from climbing those mountains. It was Jodi Picoult that triggered the conversation about fear. I’m presently reading one of her books, ‘mercy’ and I’m sucked in like I am with all her books that I have read. That woman and Paulo Coelho are a blessing to the world. I dropped the book and said to my friend: ‘she is such an amazing writer. You should read Nineteen minutes. The first book that I read by her. God bless kanyisola Ajayi for borrowing me that book in ss3.’ We laughed and talked about a Kanyinsola he knows ( all these Lagos people. They tend to know almost everyone). I stared into space and we got serious again… ‘What if I don’t be all I know I can be?’ I said to him and he looked at me.
‘What will kill me fast is knowing I didn’t live the life, achieve the things I know I am capable of achieving Emmanuel. One day, I want to have my name on the cover of a good novel.’
‘I have to achieve. I have to be extra ordinary cause if I’m not, I will be settling and for the rest of my days, I will have regrets and might hate myself. So I have to achieve. Challenge myself but still breathe! Breathe in the beautiful weather. Breathe in life and still have fun’
‘Fear is good! It will propel you to reach higher. It will plunge you into the world of risk taking.it will make sure you don’t settle for less. Fear is good’, he said to me and I told God, I have to succeed not for me, but for His name sake.
If there is anything I learnt from Dr Myles munroe, it is that: ‘like every manufacturer, God already finished creating you, putting the potentials in you before he sent you into the world. And like every manufacturer, the product has to be good and perform all it’s meant to perform not because the manufacturer likes you, but because the product has the Manufacturers logo on it and there is an image to protect. But God even loves you and whether or not you succeed, he is still God. Yet, regardless of whether or not you want to succeed, you will succeed for his name sake If you pronounce him to be your father. So test God and always remind him of the need for you to succeed for his name sake. Every product comes with a manual that will tell you all about the product. That will help you fully maximise its potentials. It’s the same way God has provided a manual, the bible for us and all we need is in that book’
So Mayowa and all the people like Mayowa out there, fear is good! Very good only if you let it remind you of why you can’t settle for less. So go out there and be all you can be. You will succeed for his name sake if you have him and if you don’t, he has his arms wide open. Trust me, I know. I mess up so many times I wonder if those arms are still open. But always! Be still and know I am with you, now and till the end of the world.
You will most likely still see posts on fear but hey, it’s allowed and you are more than welcome to share your fears, joys, winnings and losses on this platform. It’s our platform.
Have an amazing week darlings!1