I recently read a quote that was posted by someone on facebook. It was something about you can only empathise with someone that’s going through something but you can’t really understand it and truly feel what the person is feeling if you haven’t gone through it yourself. I nodded my head in agreement like the person could see me. SMH!
But I Understand.
Yes, I actually do understand because I have gone through what you are going through more times than I would like and even if our experiences are/were not the same, I can do more than empathise with you because I understand. It is exactly the same feeling and similar thoughts that stems from the exact same pit. So I understand and based on my understanding, I will tell you what I know even if it sounds like recycled lines (I tell a friend of mine a lot that guys are too fond of recycling lines…)
You have heard and maybe read many quotes about failure and disappointments. You have heard failure is not the bad thing, the bad thing is never getting up after you fail. You might have heard this quote by the amazingly brilliant Paulo Coelho: “The secret to life is to fail seven times and get up eight times” and many more quotes that tell you failure is not an excuse and you can definitely rise after falling and maybe you have nodded your head in agreement to some of these sayings, maybe you have not. Maybe you have felt some of the authors don’t understand and maybe you have felt some of them were feeling exactly what you are feeling. Either ways, I truly understand and I know those fancy and true quotes might sound like lies when you are soaked in a pool of disappointment and failure and all you want to do is stay in bed and watch Grey’s anatomy or Scandal or Criminal minds instead of going out to try again. I have been there, done that and I’m sure I will still be there and do that for some hours until I slap my brain and tell it to get to work. I failed doesn’t make me a failure. Life is all about losing some and gaining some and if I did everything right, though I would seriously doubt myself at that point, I will be just fine as far as I cross that hurdle of the crippling fear that makes me think it wouldn’t work out again.
Darling, fear is a bitch and it can create this stupid illusion that you failed because you are not good enough and it can so make you never want to try again but you have to get up and try again not because trying again might make you get the desired result or even lead you to a place that is by far more awesome than where you were headed, but because trying again allows you the chance to say ‘ntoi’ to your haters and fear. If you took a very bold step and you were kissed by disappointment, take a moment to recharge your battery, then go again. I won’t tell you, you won’t remember you were kissed by disappointment last night, nope! I won’t even tell you to try to forget it as I know too well our brain has a way of making us remember the ugly and almost forgetting the blessings we are daily surrounded by, so I won’t tell you to forget. I will however tell you not to let remembering the harsh times stop you from reaching forward even if you are shaking so hard.
I understand what failure and disappointment are and I know how terrifying they can be. How they mess with your mind and almost define your whole being, how they make your previous success seem like mosquitoes that have been easily crushed by all the failures, but sweetheart, I also understand what success and joy are as a result of trying again even with fear threatening to end me. I know how less confident you will be but I also know with whatever little confidence you are able to muster, you will be just fine as long as you give it your best and you turn your failure to the only one capable of turning water to wine. Failure is one of the best things that can happen to you. Failure shows you are human and not an alien like people might think because of your atimes non-conformist behaviour. Failure allows you discover the inner strength you didn’t know you possessed. It allows you think beyond your comfort zone and allows you take one more step with a different game plan. Afterall, you have already failed before, what difference does it make if you fail again after you try again? Failure gives you the permission to succeed but it all depends on you.Try again hon and soon, you will be telling someone you understand the sense of fulfillment and profound joy that comes from succeeding after failing.0