IT’S NOT ABOUT THEM!

This was written by my younger sister, Oyindamola. Enjoy 🙂

Many teenagers deal with ‘Inferiority Complex’ nowadays. Gosh, I hate that word! Some teenagers think they are not pretty or smart enough. Some teenagers think other people are better than they are or they can ever be. ‘I’m nothing compared to her.’ Some girls and boys say constantly bringing themselves down. Well, get this straight: no one is better than you. I never believed when people said that everybody’s different and that everybody’s special in their own way. I always thought some people were just better than others. I know now that it was wrong of me to think that.

Tanya just turned 16 when her father’s office transferred from Port Harcourt to Lagos. She was miserable when she heard she had to leave her friends, her home in Port Harcourt to go and build another one in Lagos. Tanya became a boarder in a prestigious school in Victoria Island and she became very sad. Tanya is a pretty girl, nice ebony skin, perfectly molded face, model’s legs and wide hips. She is a beautiful girl. She came from a school with only about a hundred students and she’s moved to a school with almost a thousand students who are all boarders. Tanya is a smart girl, she was the brains of her last school; the most daunting they ever had. Tanya is also very sporty; she was the fastest runner, best swimmer and dancer among other sports she shone in in her last school. She was also the most social, she was an all-rounder.

The dreaded ‘Inferiority Complex’ crept into Tanya when she got in her new school. She saw girls with wider hips, prettier faces, even nicer ebony skin, longer legs. She saw smarter people, even sportier people, better dancers, more social people and she no longer felt like herself. She no longer felt like ‘Super Tanny’ which was what they called her in her last school. She gave up on herself without even allowing herself a chance to show that she could be better than them. She relaxed believing those people were perfect. Well, nobody’s perfect. We all have flaws and Tanya did not let herself see those flaws in other people. She decided to only see the flaws in herself.  What Tanya did brought her down. She no longer believed in herself. When opportunities for her to show herself came, she no longer had anything to show. She erased all the things that made her ‘Super Tanny’ with her mind. She made herself feel even less than Tanya and she didn’t realise that it was the ‘Inferiority Complex’ that was dealing with her.

One day, she decided to go to the female guidance counsellor in her school, Mrs Okoli. Tanya told Mrs Okoli that she felt worthless, she felt empty. Tanya explained where she was coming from to her; how she was the star in her last school and how here, she didn’t even shine. She told her all that. Mrs Okoli has counselled many people with such cases and was able to identify her problem very fast. She told her the ‘Inferiority Complex’ was her problem. That day, Tanya learnt that her irrelevance was only in her head, that she made up everything she was feeling. Since then, Tanya started being herself. She has started dressing modestly in a very attractive way to show her beauty, her wide hips which she believes she has again. She’s started making herself feel beautiful even if there seems to be other people who are more beautiful than her. She has started showing off some amazing skills in dancing, started running even faster than before. She has picked up on her books and is now even more daunting than before. She has started being ‘Super Tanny’. Tanya has given that stupid ‘Inferiority Complex’ an inferiority complex of its own. She’s tossed it out of her mind.

All that happened because Tanya realised it wasn’t about them, but that all along it’s been about her. Her beauty laid in her mind and so did every other thing. Stop letting that stupid ‘Inferiority Complex’ come in your way. You have to fight it. I said earlier that I was wrong for believing some people are better than others. Well, the reason is everybody has weaknesses and strengths. Some people work on their weaknesses, some people don’t. That’s what makes us think some people are better than others, they are just more disciplined. The thing about the ‘Inferiority Complex’ is that it makes your strengths weak and your weaknesses even weaker. It’s a thing of the mind. Tanya changed her mind-set which was why she was able to be herself again. She learnt that nobody was better than her. She learnt that they all just had the confidence she lacked. Now, I’m telling you guys, Tanya is telling you guys: it’s not about them, it’s about you and how strong you are, how committed you are. Go for it, whatever it is and you might be shocked at how good you are. Let your light shine no matter what’s obstructing you, no matter who’s obstructing you. Be confident in yourself. It is what makes you better, what makes you deal with that stupid ‘Inferiority Complex’ when it comes your way. Be the best you can be, don’t shy away. It’s all about you.

OYINDAMOLA DEPO- OYEDOKUN.

images 5Have a good weekend guys!

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3 Comments
  • frances
    March 13, 2015

    Hello Oyindamola,
    I enjoyed your article, seems like the gift flows in the family 🙂

    I am glad that you know this truth from a young age, most people grow up not being able to fully live forth their lights because of inferiority complex.

    I just have one thing to add, our worth isn’t based on wide hips or even on our brains(as much as those are great), our worth should be based on who God says that we are.
    He says that we are beautiful, beloved and treasured and that’s exactly what we are.
    We matter to God, strength and weaknesses and everything we are matter to God so we should matter in our sights too.
    If the creator says that we are priceless, then we are priceless indeed.

  • Oyinda
    March 14, 2015

    Hi Frances,
    Thanks for acknowleding this gift and yes, I do know, now more than ever, that I am Who God says I am *in Sinach’s voice*; Priceless as I am and I will forever be grateful for that which is why I will never feel inferior. Sorry about that glitch and thanks for your correction.

    • Oluwamayowa Depo Oyedokun
      March 15, 2015

      Damola, send me a message on Whatsapp or snapchat. I did not know you were done with your exams and Lk asked me to ask you something. Just message me boo.

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