I am a young girl and though I have had my fair share of the not so pleasant happenings in life, I have mostly been fortunate and I have hardly being hurt because I never really give people the chance to hurt me. How will you hurt me when I don’t really let you in and when I can do without your friendship? But I was hurt recently and I only stopped hurting some days back. I let someone in fully even against my better judgment and though it was really amazing letting him in, it opened me up to all that accompanies vulnerability apart from the joy of letting yourself be fully seen and knowing someone loves you just because you are you. Something happened and for a while until some days back, it left my heart bleeding. I usually try to act like I’m a strong girl even though I’m really a softie but I didn’t have the power to act strong. I cried and talked about the hurt to some amazing friends but it still didn’t lessen the pain. The betrayal and most especially my regret for letting him in the first place. I caused it. I opened up myself to pain and though I told him I have forgiven him because I really have, it didn’t make me stop choking on my tears. It didn’t make me stop thinking about it and his long and nice explanation didn’t give me closure though I thought for a long time before we started talking that it would give me closure.
I will do it all over again. Not with him but with some other people. Who knows, I might even do it with him again once he learns to recognize that people matter and actions will always say more than words. I guess I am already doing it with some beautiful friends; I’m letting them in fully, basking in the vunerability that accompanies that because I know
Brene Brown was right when she talked about the beauties that comes with vulnerability. I experienced it firsthand though it also opened me to pain, so I know. They say once beaten, twice shy but when it comes to humans, I think we should throw that saying away because you and I are on planet earth. You and I are built to offend one another and unless you want to go and live in mars or where scientists are saying we can start living in now, you will have to just deal with it. Deal with being a human and living with one.
Like me, were you exposed to pain from the least person you expected? Are you currently experiencing pain and you don’t know how to move on, how not to hate that person and kill person?
Yes, it sounds cliché but forgiveness is it and yes, you have probably heard ‘forgiveness does more for you’ too many times but it’s the plain truth. It really does more for you.
After forgiving him, really forgiving him and working through the hate I was feeling for him at the time, I felt peace wash over me. I was still deeply hurt. I still cried after but I knew I would be fine because once I forgave him, I knew I took the power for him to hurt me away from him. But you still cried, you might say. Yes I did but it was for the past, what we had and for the future that might not be not because he still had a hold over my life. What was more important was forgiving myself and discarding the regrets because it was a pretty good relationship and I wasn’t wrong for letting him in. He is wrong for letting me go.
So darling, you’ve got to forgive yourself. If you were abused or are still abused, it’s not your fault so don’t even think it’s your fault. You are strong enough to get out of it and you are strong enough to forgive because that’s still in your power.
Recently, a friend told me he doesn’t see himself getting married because of the hurt he experienced from a girl he really loved and was ready to marry. He didn’t really go into details but I could see he is still hurting because he hasn’t let go though he claims he has. Darling, you’ve got to let go and start over because tomorrow is waiting for you. If that guy broke your heart, you will find another guy and if that one also breaks your heart, you will still find another. You’ve got to let go of the past and move on because if you decide to remain stalk on the past, you might never be able to have a future, a beautiful one with the one that will erase all the past pain.
Did that person betray you so badly? Forgive and move on. I won’t ask you to forget because that part is really hard and I guess only time will help you forget.
Move on, be careful but don’t stop making friends as a result. Don’t give up on relationships as a result. Don’t give up on your dreams because of the many dubious people around. The truth is, you and I become stronger each time. After every hurt, every betrayal, disappointment, we become stronger and to people that don’t understand, they will think we are fools because we are opening up our hearts again but it’s cause they don’t understand the power of forgiveness, of releasing the person before he/she hurts you. Darling, today is still in your power hon. Let go and forgive so you can move forward.0