My younger sister, Oyindamola recently shared a poem she wrote on twitter. In the poem titled ‘letter to my future husband’, she described the kind of man she wants to marry. I loved it and wasn’t surprised that she would want the kind of husband she described. It is common saying that an apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree, she has a solid tree in her life that she looks up to and whose heart and soul she would want in a man she will say I do to someday. That tree is my father; her father; our father.
I have come to discover that fathers can either be a blessing or a curse. Being a father is a very important job, a job too important for a person that calls himself a father to take for granted. It’s not just about depositing your sperm and fertilizing an egg. It’s not just about being there when your child made his/her first cry into this world. It’s not about being the first person to hold that perfect baby in your arms. Akinwale once told me that ‘fatherhood is not a position, it’s a decision’. I completely agree because of my father. My father was not even there the day I was born, but since the day my precious mother brought me into this world, he has been there. Whether in the shadows or openly; whether far away or close by; whether in money or in kind. My father has been there and for that and more, I see him as nothing short of a blessing. Mobolaji’s aim through her book, LETTERS TO OUR FATHER is for fathers to be seen as nothing short of a blessing by their kids.
Every child deserves a sense of love and belonging. Every. Single. Child. Of course a child can get that from the mother and other people, but there is nothing like a child getting it from the father. Girls are so delicate (apologies to guys) and there is this thing about having a loving gentle, stern, caring , present father in our lives. It changes the way we see life and the things/people (especially the masculine gender) we accept into our lives. My father is passionate about my siblings and I. He is passionate about the things we are passionate about even when he doesn’t understand it. Do you have a dream? Then let’s hear it and see how we should support you, is the attitude my dad adopts. My dad sometimes says: It’s not every father that should be a father. If you cannot be responsible for your children and protect them with all that you have, then you are an irresponsible father. If you are an irresponsible father, then you are not a father. Now, why would I want to marry a man who is less than what my father is to my mum, his kids, his grandchild?
My Dad has set a standard, albeit a right one that every father or potential father should have. A standard less than the one God has set (because God is perfect), but one that mirrors it closely. Every child should be looked at with loving eyes from the father, even when the child is not deserving of it. Every child should have a dad who is there not just to dish out money, but who is there in all/most areas of the child’s life. A father who knows the child, just the same way God knows us. I love the fact that my dad can make me laugh even when I am mad at him. I love the fact that my dad does not use his position as a front to disrespect me. I love the fact that even when my dad has little, he will give all that to me and my siblings. I love the fact that my dad will get cough syrup and panadol for me when I refuse to treat a cold and he will come gleefully announcing that I can’t escape medication now.
I love the way my dad dances and twists his mouth in this cute way, while trying to understand the pop music and culture of our time. I love the fact that my dad apologises when I am mad at him. I love the fact that my dad believes in my relationship with God enough for him to ask me to please come and lay hands on him and pray for him. I love the fact that my dad goes out of his way to please his daughters even when he wasn’t asked. I love the fact that my dad looks at my niece like she is the best thing in the world and grandpa Depo is always excited to see and play with his niece. I love the fact that my dad is not perfect, but lord knows he is great. I love the fact that I can tell future hubby to learn from my father, because he should be what and who my father is and even more.
We are not meant to be stagnant. Bars are set and Bars are broken. My father and many other amazing dads out there have set a good precedent. It’s time for our young fathers and potential fathers to break the record and set a higher precedent. I will go back to Akinwale’s words: ‘I believe a lot will be right with the world if we have good fathers. Fathers that are ready to take up the mantle of leadership and authority when need be and also be a friend or brother as the need arises’.
Akin also said: ‘The past will not always determine the future and if tomorrow must change, there has to be a conscious decision today’. That is exactly what my kind hearted friend, Mobolaji is doing through this timely book, ‘LETTERS TO OUR FATHERS’. She is reminding our men of the need to rise up, to do better, to be better, to be fathers indeed. Letters to Our Father is a non-fiction book comprising of ten letters written by daughters to their fathers. The book is a wake- up call to fathers to bring up and train their daughters such that they won’t have to turn to the wrong men for affection and support. It’s a book that exudes Mobolaji’s passion for a change in the society and we all know a change in the family is one of the most important steps for this to happen. The book is an easy read. If you read Mobolaji’s blog, then you will know she is a very expressive and interesting writer. You will definitely see nothing less in this book.
I join Mobolaji to invite you for this book launch which is more than just a book launch taking place tomorrow, 24th September, 2016 at No. 3 Olaiya Street, off Governor’s Avenue, Alausa, Ikeja, Lagos. Mobolaji assures you that you will meet and connect with people who want wholesome lives like you do. Let’s rise up to support this beautiful friend of mine. Since Akinwale connected us on twitter, I have not regretted our relationship. It’s the same way I’m confident that you won’t regret going for this book launch and also getting the book.
Visit her amazing blog at omobolaji.com for more information.0