I like to believe I am an independent girl. Well, my parents are funding my bills now and taking care of me in general. While I see this as part of their responsibilities, one my dad doesn’t take lightly, I also recognize it is a privilege and for that I am grateful.
I like to do most things by myself, not only because I am a perfectionist and I will feel like you didn’t do a good enough job even if you did, but also because I don’t like to be seen as a weak female and I don’t want to be one that needs to be rescued. I don’t want to be treated like an egg that will break at the slightest challenge and because I don’t want to be seen as inferior to the male specie. I am not a feminist but I share some of their views such as women not been seen as the weaker gender. Men have their strengths and so do we. Even if someone’s strength is in raising the family, it doesn’t make you, the man that earns the cool cash superior. You try doing the job she does raising those beautiful but a times nerve wrecking children.
I am not mushy most times and most times, I can’t stand mushy behavior but there are times, I love when people do nice and ‘mushy’ things for me. What? I am human and a lady and yes, atimes I love to be pampered and to be saved.
But that’s not the kind of saving I want to talk about.
Maybe you are like me. You like to be independent. You will rather try and try before you ask for help even though asking for help doesn’t make you stupid, it just means you don’t know this thing, you can’t do this thing and you need assistance. You like to carry most of the load yourself although you will freely give yourself for others. Your friends tell you to let them help you as you help them but you refuse, not because you don’t think they can help you, but because you don’t want to burden them and you honestly believe you can fix it yourself even if it will take time.
I am a princess in distress and maybe you are a princess or prince in distress too. I need God to fix it and I need to stop trying to fix it myself. When it comes to HIM, we can throw it away: the independent nature that we so pride ourselves on. We can throw it away because we need our lives to be entwined with His. We need Him to be the air we breathe and we don’t want to be lost without Him. So let’s, let Him help us. We can stop trying to fix it ourselves now. We can stop carrying the weight alone when he gladly offered us His burden which is easy. We can ask for His help. That’s one of the major reasons He left the Holy Spirit for us. We can be weak and vulnerable with Him, He won’t judge us. Rather, He will be smiling down at us for letting Him see all of us: the good, the bad, the ugly and for being a prince or princess in distress.
I need you to please guide me and just lead me like I am a blind person because I truly am. I don’t know what I am doing and I doubt myself and abilities, but I ask for the grace not to doubt you and to do my best and leave the rest to you.
You can always read Psalm 55: 22 and 1st Peter 5: 7 when you feel like the weight is crippling you and you can’t go on any further. And remember, “though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with His hand” (Psalm 37: 24)0