I am a failure. My writing is complete crap. I am not strong enough to stand when the storms are raging. My goals are beyond my reach and capabilities, so there is no point trying….
Those are some of the thoughts that often attack me. Those are some of the feelings that try to make me stay in bed, buried under the ‘comfort’ of my duvet. Those are some of the words I find myself saying and sometimes believing till something snaps in my head and wakes me up.
“Mayowa, why are you substituting the truth for your feelings?”
The truth is, I’m not a failure. My writing is not crap because if it is, it wouldn’t inspire people. I am strong enough to stand through the storm because I have an immovable backbone and support system within me. I am more than capable and there will always be a point trying because I can be better; I can do better.
What are your feelings telling you?
Separate how you feel from what you know – Bishop T.D Jakes.
I tend to live my life based on my feelings. If I feel like doing something, I do it. Also, if I need an excuse for not doing something, guess what comes to the rescue, yes, you guessed right, my feelings. I mean, in our world our feelings are highly celebrated and we are even encouraged to live life based on our feelings. Our feelings have become unconscious ‘semi- gods’ that directs our states of affair. It’s an easy exit route for us in the world now. Just think about it. How many times have you used your feelings as an excuse?
Kamso and I decided to have a chat about this and we both concluded that feelings are fickle. Feelings are overrated. Feelings are not consistent. Thinking about it, I have concluded that feelings can justify laziness, it fuels it. It can also justify our lack of discipline and will power. We can’t live our lives based on just (or even mostly) our feelings because truth be told, we wouldn’t get very far. We wouldn’t do most of the things we are capable of doing.
So, what are the tenets I’m going to live lead my life on?
Discipline. Will power. Consistency.
It will definitely take a lot of conscious determination, rising up after failing to keep to these. But regardless, I will keep choosing to work towards these. Nope, I’m not going to base it on motivation because even though motivation is amazingggg, it won’t always come. Most of the successful people we know (define success anyhow you want) didn’t go far based on their feelings. Sometimes, their feelings would have said no when their head and purpose were saying yes. But they only forged ahead because they fought and subdued their feelings into captivity. They chose discipline over feelings. They chose consistency over feelings. They had to align their feelings to their will, rather than subject their will to their feelings.
Align your feelings to your will. Never subject your will to your feelings
Am I saying don’t acknowledge your feelings?
Of course not. Your feelings are there for a reason. What I am really saying is, don’t give your feelings too much power. Your feelings are not that loyal. Don’t let them feed your insecurities and silly thoughts about yourself and abilities. Don’t let your feelings tell you or convince you that you are not worthy of love and belonging. Don’t let your feelings tell you are a failure just because you didn’t get something (or many things) right. Don’t let your feelings tell you that you can’t achieve anything you put your heart, mind and effort to. Don’t let your feelings make you cower under your duvet when you should really be out there breaking barriers. Your feelings are not the truth most of the time. So, subject your feelings to the truth of who you are and who you can be. Subject it to discipline and your will power so you don’t have to live by happenstance. You have the power to change whatever is, or will be. After all, It’s Your Life to Lead.
There is a slim chance that the changes you seek will be kick started by your feelings. But there is no chance that your feelings will sustain the changes and progress you are making. Contrary to what we like to believe, your feelings can be detrimental to your progress.
I apologise for not posting Last week Monday. I have been a bit occupied. Have a good Valentine’s day tomorrow amazing people. I just might rant here about Val’s day tomorrow.1