I am not your friend anymore, I said to my three year old niece. Her playful face suddenly became serious. ‘Why?’ she asked.
Because I don’t want to, is why. I replied
‘Why?’ she asked again. I told her I didn’t have a reason.
‘Take back your statement Aunty Mayowa or I will be angry at you. Then, we will really not be friends’, she said (No, I’m not exaggerating. She is that dramatic and her command of English is that good).
When I said nothing, she stood up and left the sitting room. I could hear her telling my sister that I had made her angry and she was no longer my friend. She went to tell her grandma (my mum) that as well. Well, it didn’t take up to twenty minutes before we became friends again and I once again became her favourite aunty.
I noticed my niece asks why a lot. She questions many things and I wonder if that’s how her generation is being trained or if that’s her personal preference. I told her that she will make me pick up my pen to write because I need us to talk about why
Why do you get up from bed in the morning or midday (or even get up in the first place)?
Why do you do the things you do?
I told a friend some days back that it’s good to question many things, instead of just acting blindly. Perhaps, if the Nazi soldiers had questioned Hitler, they wouldn’t have carried out such a historically gruesome massacre.
I once heard a statement that if you know your why, you will know your what and most likely get your when. I am forced to believe that statement based on my personal experience. Let me give an example.
I love working with kids and teenagers. Why?
Because I love kids and I think they are very inspiring. I also believe I can inspire them and contribute meaningfully to their lives.
Now, what has my why pushed me to do?
It has pushed me to look for opportunities to work with kids.
Basically, my why pushed me towards what to do.
I hope it makes sense.
If it doesn’t, I implore you to please carry out this exercise often
Ask yourself why
Why are you doing something?
Why is something the way it is?
Why did I get this particular result?
Why did I react this way?
If we are being truthful to ourselves, the genuine answer behind your why will often lead us to what’s next.
It will lead us in the path of our passion and purpose.
It will push us more towards the path of happiness and self- fulfilment
It will make us reflect on our actions and change/do some things to make us get better results
It will help us see what triggers certain behaviours and pay attention to such triggers
It will propel us to offer solutions, mostly by doing the things we are really wired to do.
What is your why?5